Im so complicated that i find it hard to understand my self most of the times. Im feeling so many things all at once that it is bloody well confusing. I really can not describe the mixed emotions im so shattered with the situations in life that i really dont give a f*** about anything right now including if i wake up in the morning or not. I got an appointment at Cambridge hospital next week with regards to my shitty lungs and totally do not know what to expect, i very much doubt i will be getting any good news because hope is a word that no longer exists in my sorry life. At the moment thats the only occasion marked on my boring monthly calendar.
So anyway the last two days have been extra difficult and most of the time or shall i say 95% of the time i was in bed as i had not an ounce of energy in me to even get up and also the night before was extremely horrible as i lay there trying to sleep with striking pain in my chest and upper abdomen, i seriously thought i was having a heart attack as i had pain radiating to my arm and back and also burning pain on the left side of my chest. My husband did mention A&E but due to them taking the mick all the time i have no faith in them at all they have totally let me down in the past and make you feel so crap if nothings wrong. So no i rather not feel more shitty and safe than sorry, they never mention that do they.
My symptoms have somewhat subsided today apart from the occasional chest pain and fatigue i have managed to get up though pretty late and went for dinner with my lovelies. We went to Jimmy Grill World Buffet and had a lovely time.....
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